Giving UP

If there's one characteristic that really defines some of my greatest struggles, it's the battle for control. I wouldn't say I'm necessarily a "control freak", but I do like things to be my way in my time. If someone gives me any amount of control over something, I'm going to take it and make sure it's done right.

After all, if you want it done right, do it yourself. 

I've discussed the idea of control before multiple times, but I've always wanted to cover it in the context of earthly circumstances. 

You see, whenever there is something that I want, I always try everything in my power to get it. I wear myself out trying to make things happen.

But ultimately, I end up frustrated because I don't always get what I want. And that's hard for me.

I think that the biggest thing God has had to teach me over and over is that I don't have control. I'm not God and I can't always have my way. I have no right to demand that my wants get fulfilled.

Time and time again, I've set my heart on something and focused every effort on achieving that. And those things aren't bad things! One time I wanted to witness to a friend; another time I wanted to be part of a worship team. And none of the other desires were bad. But they kept getting denied and I got frustrated.

After trying absolutely everything I could think of, I gave up. Several times, I would just be sitting on my floor or my bed and say, "God, if you don't do something, this isn't going to happen." It was hard, but I had to give it to God and let go.

Do you know how hard it is to let go of something you want more than anything? 

I would love to tell you that every single time I've done this, God has given me the desires of my heart in ways far more amazing than mine. And in some cases He did. But not all of them. Sometimes I was disappointed.

This is something that God has been teaching me--and I regret to say that I have not been learning well--over basically my whole life. You would think I would eventually figure out that I can be so much more relaxed when I leave everything in God's hands. But that's probably a battle I'll be fighting my whole life. 

In my devotion time earlier this week, I came across this verse: 

Unless the Lord builds the house,
    those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
    the watchman stays awake in vain. (Psalm 127:1)

I've read this verse dozens of times, but something about it struck me differently this time. I realized that, if what I want is not in God's will for me right now or in my way, nothing I do will make it happen. I can work my tail off and still get nowhere. Unless God's blessing is on it and unless His Hand is in it, my efforts will be in vain.

Is there something you're holding too tightly? Is there something you're determined to force through? Is there a desire or goal you can't let go of?

I encourage you now, as hard as it is, to let it go. God's hands are far more capable than ours. He can see down the road to what's best for us. Give it up to God and trust Him to work for your good, even if it doesn't go the way you wanted. It's another part of walking not by sight. You won't regret it.