Fear of Failure

With finals week just around the corner, the concept of failure has become much more real to me. (I'm not doing badly, but the possibility is still there.) No matter how well I've done this past semester, my score on one test could definitely damage my grade. I know that my family wouldn't disown me for making bad grades, but I wonder if I could live with myself. I tend to set high standards for myself and then I hold myself to them. When I don't measure up, I don't even need anyone else's disapproval to feel disappointed.

But I have high standards for myself even outside of academics. I expect myself to be the good Christian girl that I think God expects me to be. I have a list of things not to do and I stay away from those. I try to do good things and love people and not get grumpy when I'm hungry. And if I thought God was disappointed in me, I would be crushed.

I had a conversation with a skeptic of Christianity a few days ago, and he made the comment about how Christianity seemed to be about a lost cause, as if we know we can't succeed in following God's law from the beginning so we are defeated from the start. And he's not wrong. From conception, we are corrupted, rebelling against God from our earliest moments. Only through rebirth and sanctification are we able to combat our rebellious tendencies.

So what does that mean for us?

We've already failed. Adam and Eve failed, and their failure has passed to us.

But God chose to save us while we were still sinners. While we were still failures. While we were still in open rebellion against Him. We cannot fail so badly that He will be disappointed in us. He's seen us at our worst, yet He still gave us His best.

More than that, He knows that we cannot succeed. This side of Heaven, we are not capable of perfection. So He arranged it for us. He sent Jesus to live a perfect life, to die a sacrificial death, and to be raised to glory again so that our failures could be redeemed.

But it gets even better: God loves us and wants the best for us. He knows we are weak. And it breaks His heart. But that's what the cross is for

God sees our failures, but He loved us so much that He gave up His perfect Son so that we could have eternal life.

You can never fail so badly that God will stop loving you. Salvation is for those who come in faith. Don't despair. God loves you.