Letter of the Language Law

I will have to admit that entering a public college after having been homeschooled my entire life and been almost exclusively in Christian circles was quite a shock to me on many levels. I could talk about the differences and challenges all day, but there is one aspect in particular that I want to address.

You see, while movies containing a lot of what is classified as "inappropriate language" are rated R, nobody rated or censored the guys chatting before calculus. No "convenient" sound effect goes off when one of my classmates uses vulgarity. There are no asterisks to bleep out real life.

So that made me think...what really constitutes bad language? What makes one word okay to use and another, with perhaps just one or two different letters, so much worse? And then there are words that were once used in everyday conversation and now have an entirely worse meaning. And of course, there are people who misuse God's name all the time, without even thinking about it.

 

And that isn't even getting into euphemistic language, which is basically changing a couple letters so that it's technically a different word and then using it for the exact same purpose.

We are all pretty familiar with the third commandment (Exodus 20:7 ESV)

You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain.

Basically: don't say God's name unless you are actually talking about or to God. Pretty simple.

Right?

Well, there are several euphemistic ways of saying God's name. Are those okay, since they don't consist of the exact same letters and sounds? What about some of the others? What about the replacements (maybe instead of the "g" in "OMG" standing for "God", letting it stand for "guacamole" or something)? What if, instead of using **** to insult someone, I just call them more socially acceptable words? And wait, aren't there hand signals that say some of the same things, except without letters and sounds?

If your head isn't spinning, maybe it's because you've already been thinking about this. I've been going back and forth on it for a while: on one hand, maybe we should just restrict all of our language to what would be allowed in a G-rated movie; on the other, maybe it's just all sounds and as long as whoever we're around doesn't care, we can use it.

Is there an answer?

I wasn't sure for a while. But the other day, this verse showed up on one of my daily Bible verse apps (as a side note, daily Bible verse apps are great and usually free).

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4:29 NIV)

 It was one of those times where I had a bunch of questions that I didn't know how to ask and then God gave me the answer key and it all clicked. (Understanding it, as opposed to implementing it, is easy though...but we'll get to that later.)

Let's break it down. "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths..." (The ESV says "corrupting talk", but I think that "unwholesome" gets the point a little closer to home.) If we stop here, it's easy to go about our day trying not to use words on some arbitrary list. "I'm not using unwholesome talk!" you could argue.

But let me ask this: Let's say that "a*b*c" is a "bad word" to say that someone is brainless, ignorant, unintelligent, etc. The word a*b*c is never heard in G and PG rated movies and is hinted at in PG-13. You are walking down the sidewalk and someone is on their phone and bumps into you, knocking your drink all over your printed presentation and your outfit. You could call them a*b*c and a couple people around you will cringe. Or you could loudly berate the person, calling them ignorant, brainless, and unintelligent, maybe even throwing in a "censored" version of the word, like x*y*z.

Here's the question: No matter what word you use, will the effect on the clumsy person be essentially the same? Won't he stand up from the accident feeling just as terrible, angry, and ignorant in both scenarios?

The point is that it is less about the word than the meaning. Words have to have meaning or a society doesn't work. (I already covered this some in The Solid Word) If you want to convey a message that someone is ignorant, overweight, or displeasing in some way, you can do that in many ways that would not get censored out for a PG-13 audience. So it's less about "can you?" and more about "should you?"

Before I wrap up, let's cover the rest of the verse. "...but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

As with most commandments God gives us there is a negative element (Don't say bad things) and a positive element (instead, build others up with your words). And, as usual, it is way harder to obey the positive facet than just the negative.

I mean, I could go a while without tearing someone down verbally, and maybe even keep my thoughts from insulting them silently. But for every word that comes out of my mouth (or my fingers) to be helpful and beneficial...every word...is that even possible?

Only with a lot, and I mean a LOT, of prayer. And the Holy Spirit. And even then, it still won't be perfect until Heaven.

But don't get discouraged. You can start where you are. Maybe make it a point to say one encouraging thing every day, or to stop yourself when you are tempted to speak poorly to or of another person. It doesn't have to change in a day. Just don't stay where you are.