The Secrets of the Heart

If your friends came up to you and asked if they could go through your closet, would you let them? What if they asked to scroll through your phone's camera roll? How about your text messages? Would you let them?

Imagine further that you would have to stand there, watching their reactions, but with no ability to make excuses or filter anything out, such as deleting an awkward selfie or tossing out some old sweater or erasing a conversation you're ashamed of. You can only watch as your friends go through your things and laugh or scoff as they go. Would you let them?

Perhaps your things are squeaky clean. Perhaps the only picture on your phone is of a plant that you want to identify. Perhaps your closet is in order. Perhaps you only text a couple of people and you have nothing to embarrass you. If so, good for you. Externally, your life is clean.

But what if someone came and asked to look into your heart, to see your darkest thoughts and wildest dreams, to hear your inward conversations and the silent remarks you make, to feel your frustration and emotions? Could you honestly open your heart and welcome someone else in without the slightest fear that he would find something you're ashamed of?

I know I couldn't. I keep things to myself for a reason: I don't want anyone else to know. Isn't that the point of a secret?

Granted, not all secrets are bad; but if someone broadcast what you thought to the world, would you want to dig a deep hole and hide in it? Could you speak aloud every thought you had while lying in bed before going to sleep and feel no shame? Could someone read your thoughts while you drive in bad traffic and keep their faith in humanity?

If you are feeling a little uncomfortable, good. I can't think of a sane person who would want any of that. I certainly don't want anyone to know what I'm thinking. If you hear of someone with mind-reading powers, please let me know so I can move to the moon.

I'm sure King David didn't want anyone to read his mind either. I mean, if you look at what he did outwardly (and some of it was pretty bad stuff), his inward thoughts must be cringe-worthy. But here's what he prayed:

Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23-24 NIV)

 David is letting God in, to do exactly what I just admitted would be difficult and terrifying. To say what David said is insanely courageous. To let someone know your deepest meditations--and not only that, to test the very core of who you are--is a bold action. But David goes a step further: He asks God to find the wickedness in his heart and show him how to follow God.

His desire for a pure heart is repeated in Psalm 51:10 (ESV):

Create in me a clean heart, O God,
    and renew a right spirit within me.

 You see, David knew that God already knew his thoughts. God created him. He already knew all David's secrets.

 For [God] knows the secrets of the heart. (Psalm 44:21b ESV)

I could keep citing verses, but you get the idea. God already knows what is going on in your heart. Whether or not you invite Him in to scroll through the news feed of your mind, He has already seen it all.

So if God has seen David's heart, why was it so bold of David to ask God to search him?

David wasn't merely asking God to see him. He was asking God to search him, test him, and know him. This is so much more than just seeing. When God searched David, He dug things out of David's heart to show David. His searching helped David to discern his own heart.

We are often challenged to search our hearts, but let's face it: sometimes we can't find everything. You may try to find out what your true motive for doing something is or why you're feeling down for no apparent reason, but sometimes even our own hearts elude us. Most of the time, however, we don't find because we don't want to. We want that dark thought hidden where even we can't find it.

But God can. If you ask Him to search you, be aware that He will. And He might find some things you aren't comfortable with. In fact, He may find things you never admitted to yourself.

It won't be easy, or fun, or pleasant. If our hearts were holy, it wouldn't be a problem. The problem is that our hearts are wicked above all else. So yeah, God is going to find a lot of junk in them.

But you can be assured that He will not simply pull out all of your junk and then sit back and scorn you. If you seek His help, He will lead you "in the way everlasting" and teach you to be holy. He will create a clean and pure heart in you that desires to follow Him.

Will you be perfect? Absolutely not. But won't it be worth it to let Someone in on your deepest secrets who won't ridicule you but will instead cleanse your heart and make it new?