When Life Does Not Even Give You Lemons

You've probably heard the saying, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." (Who hasn't, right?) But have you noticed that life never actually gives you lemons? (Or sugar, which is a basic requirement of lemonade.) I don't know about you, but I often get served a full plate of disappointment.  Since New Years, I have experienced just about as many forms of disappointment as I think exist.  I've narrowed it down to three main categories: disappointment by a situation, by a person, and by yourself.  And I've been hit with all three. Since I'm pretty sure everyone deals with these, I'm going to make an "Official Disappointment Survival Guide."  You're welcome.

SURVIVING A SITUATIONAL DISAPPOINTMENT
When a situation disappoints me, it is at once harder and easier than the other forms to handle.  I define a situational disappointment as one that no person has control over (such as the weather).

EXAMPLE: about a week ago, the weathermen were CONVINCED it was going to snow five inches...in the south.  So we go out, like naive little southerners, and buy sleds and cancel everything.

So guess what happened?

It didn't snow.  We got what weatherpeople call a "dusting".  So church got cancelled and we had nothing to show for it but some cold rain.  Talk about a disappointment.

HOW TO HANDLE IT:
Situations that let us down are easier to handle because there is nothing anyone could have done about it, and they are at the same time harder because...there is nothing anyone could have done about it. This calls for one of those times that you just have to "shake it off" and try to make the most of the situation.  Catch up on sleep, watch a movie you've wanted to see for a while, or talk to a friend on the phone. Feel free to ask God "WHY??!?!?", but be aware that He doesn't owe you an answer.  Still, even though we can't see why, remember that God can.

SURVIVING A PERSONAL DISAPPOINTMENT
I don't care how perfect you think that person is.  He or she will let you down.  Maybe it was a miscommunication, or maybe it was a blatant let-down.  Whatever the case, we naturally get at least a little upset with the person. 

EXAMPLE: A friend suggests you all go to a movie but then cancels when he gets invited to do something else.
A person you think highly of gets in major trouble.
A group you're part of gets disbanded after a miscommunication.

HOW TO HANDLE IT:
When people let us down, we are not only dealing with the disappointment but also with our feelings of hurt toward that person.  So, now you have to deal with an evening alone with Netflix and with your anger.  Sometimes, if it's just a petty disappointment, you can let it go easily.  But sooner or later someone is going to do something that crushes you.  And you are going to have to deal with it.

Probably the first thing you should do (actually, definitely first!) is talk to God.  He is always listening and He knows what is going on.  Tell Him about how you feel.  Ask Him for patience.  Then move as quickly as you can to forgiveness.  Sometimes the person has a reasonable excuse for letting you down, making that step a little easier...but sometimes they don't.  Sometimes there is no good excuse, and you have to struggle with raw forgiveness.  (This is not a post on forgiveness, so I'm not going to go into too much depth with that, or we'll be here all day.)  Once you've forgiven the person, whether or not they have a valid excuse for disappointing you, move on.  Find something productive to do or do something spontaneous.

SURVIVING A SELF DISAPPOINTMENT
You know that sick feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you get let down by the person you counted on most?  Multiply that by a zillion and you'll get close to how you feel when you let yourself down.  Now, obviously it's hard to betray yourself, but I know you've disappointed yourself before (if not, count yourself the happiest person alive). 

EXAMPLE: You prepare for a competition, know exactly what you're doing, and then slip up when you know you could have done better.
You study hard for a test but end up doing worse than you're willing to accept.
You miss a long-anticipated opportunity.
Fill in the blank.

HOW TO HANDLE IT:
  First, don't do anything.  Don't freak out and beat yourself up.
  Second, figure out what went wrong.  Sometimes it's just a random mistake, which is okay, but if there was something that you could have done better, you need to know what it was.  (This is also a really effective way to figure out how much blame to put on yourself, although that is not its intent.)
  Third, remember how awesome you are.  I'm not being cheesy: God made YOU in His image, which means that you get awesome points just for being made by God like God.  He gave you special qualities too, and if you ask anyone who loves you, I'm sure they would be more than happy to deluge you with all the things that make you fantastic.
  Which leads to fourth: If nothing else, talk to God.  He knows and loves you better than anyone else (better than you!) and can show you how special you are.
  Fifth, forgive yourself.  Depending on how serious your disappointment was, this could take a while.  So, if you can't let yourself off, try six:
  Sixth: put your disappointment into perspective.  Will it matter in a week?  A year?  An hour?  If it won't matter then, it doesn't have to matter now.
  Seventh, remember that it isn't the end of the world; not only is it not the end of the world, it might be the beginning of something better.  You might not be able to see it now, but one day, you may look back and realize that by losing one thing, you gained something so much greater, something you never would have found if you hadn't lost.  (Imagine a child crying when she loses her lollipop only to be given a basket of candy.)

Disappointment happens to everyone.  If life doesn't give you the necessary materials to make lemonade, you have to cope.  And God is there.  Be still, know that He is God.  And then turn that frown upside down!